A Heavy Dose of Atmosphere

Final Memories

A place, an atmosphere, the luminous night seeps into my face, numbness spreads across my limb as the inebriation sets in. Darkness flirts at the edges-of my perception, as the numbness trickles along the contours of my face, chest, stomach, legs...nothing. I reach out, flourishing my hands in-front of my face in an attempt to recapture my bearings, but my eyes cannot focus, cannot see. I attempt to speak, verbally calling for assistance Jai has gotta be close, but I hear nothing in return, as the darkness consumes me.

"Get up boy, its getting late!?!"

OUCH!!? Pain cascades into the void. Prior-to this experience I had never experienced the excruciating pain of a hang-over, I honestly could not think of anything else to do, except stroll around my front-yard spitting and hand a couple-of beautiful young ladies some concert tickets. I could not stand, the pain made it impossible to move. Despite my obvious suffering and immobility, my father, constantly the disciplinarian, the stoic man, the forceful hand, strolled into my cavernous, dank, room and aroused me from my slumber. He then proceeded to systematically destroy my body, forcing me to complete everyone's chores, coddle the dogs, run, lift, study, practice, play, all before I had breakfast. The boys on the court or at the gym gave me no respite, making sure that every conceivable ounce of alcohol drained from my body. Staring across the isle, I glared at Jai as if to scream "Fuck you" across the expanse of existential space. I collapsed after practice, permitted several moments of rest before given a heavy-handed lecture by my father. The complex, eloquent, rhetoric of a man renowned and promoted for his charism echoed in the black-buzzing expanse that pervaded my skull. Each syllable slamming into the corridors of my minds, and quickly exiting out the back door, ear. Grounded...Fucked.

I lay in bed, regretting every moment spent in Hong Kong. Thousands of moments, thousands of opportunities, thousands of kisses and hugs, lost through the selfishness of 2 people. 2 people too self-absorbed to realize that they are destroying their child, sapping his former strength through constant struggles, emotional traumas, and loss. The atmosphere around me pressed in, harder-and-harder, choking the air out of me. I closed my eyes and hoped, prayed to some unforeseen deity, that the nightmare could be gone as soon as they opened again. I opened my eyes, ceiling, floor, door...nightmare.